As I wrote the piece “Persephone’s Choice”, a bigger question emerged: why is rest such a challenge for so many of us, and what helps us move into it?
The starting place is agency, the choice to slow down. But choosing is only the beginning. In cultures obsessed with productivity, and in industries that give heavy social capital to stress (some even enabling burnout), stepping away from incessant “doing” can be seen as a weakness or a cop-out. We have to reframe this choice and understand that our pauses feed a much deeper part of our participation in the world. As Tricia Hersey writes in Rest Is Resistance, “Resting isn’t an afterthought, but a basic part of being human.”
Even once we’ve made the choice, something else often shows up. In mindfulness practice, it is common for inner narratives to present themselves like guards to a locked treasure of stillness. Voices of self-doubt and critique may amplify just before we break through to the liberating gifts of presence beyond their noise. So we must support our practice, so that we can be fully present to the experience, free from the stories that hold us back from fully immersing in and enjoying the benefits of our choice to rest.
The choice to carve out this time is a first step. The next is to fortify it by anchoring it in intention and ritual. Ritual moves us beyond a daily routine, which can still keep us in a loop of striving and productivity. Ritual connects us with a greater sense of purpose and moves us from narratives of “shoulds” to a more authentic practice that serves a deeper part of ourselves. In this reframe, we also free ourselves from doing something right in the name of getting someplace better. In this freedom, we can create, conjure, play, and explore what brings the most meaning to our experience. A ritual might include a poem, movement, food, or some other personal delight.
It is hard for me to untangle my personal experience from the greater human experience of these times, so I will name both and let you decide what resonates. I know that part of this call for me, and perhaps for the clients I serve, comes from this time in my life, when striving has served me well. I have decades of experience, fulfillment and expertise from those years of hustle. This satisfaction opens the door to explore what else is here. I also know that many of you are still in the thick of it, where stepping back can feel out of reach. That said, I believe we are seeing a move across generations toward more connection, as the seduction of consumption and competition for resources wears thin. And while this disenchantment may be more profound for those of us in midlife, I believe we can hold this space and invite younger generations into these experiences as well.
Wherever you are on this path, the meditation that follows is an invitation to practice: to choose rest, to mark it with intention, and to notice what waits beyond the noise.
To accompany these reflections, I’ve recorded a new guided meditation on rest. This is particularly good for moments of restlessness or struggling to sleep.
Link to meditation on REST.
